How cool is God!

Yesterday I wrote some thank you notes to some of the people that support me in the ministry at the BSU. It was a “random” decision I made, and only got a few key notes out before the day got too busy.

One of them was to a couple--John and Cricket Holland--who have been mentors to me for my whole life. Cricket is a dear friend to my family, and later her son Corey, and his wife, Kim, taught my Sunday school.

Well, Corey is running for State Rep for my hometown area against a much more seasoned guy. His opponent has run a dirty race and it's been hard on the whole family. But when I have been home and seen Corey's picture on the billboards, I am so proud of him. I know his character and I know he SHOULD win even if he doesn't.

Well, I just got an e-mail from my dad. He wrote to tell me he just received a big hug from Cricket since she couldn’t hug me. She told my dad she was feeling very down and defeated this morning because people have been people tearing down Corey’s signs and tore more down this morning. She got my card and knew it was from God just when she needed it the most.

Dad continued by thanking me for being used of God and that is sometimes the little things that impact people’s lives the most. Wow...how encouraging and humbling.

God, thank you for using me even when I didn’t even realize You were! I am so sorry that I am so prideful that I don’t know the difference between what I thought was a “random decision” and Your Holy Spirit’s prompting in my heart. Thank you for using my human motives to accomplish supernatural results. Thank you for humbling me to show me that it is pride to think that You won’t use me.....that it’s something in me that makes me worthy or void of being used. It’s only Jesus Christ in me that is worthy! My merit is never enough! Thank you that you can use ANY means you want to love, support, and spur on your children—even the US mail! : ) God, thank you for perfect timing—how You blow my mind! You showed me once again that Your in complete control and work ALL to the good. God I ask that you receive all the glory and praise for how You wonderfully work. I pray that you will help me see you more clearly. Thank you for blessing me in ways I don’t deserve! I pray You will continue to work and encourage the Holland family—John, Cricket, Corey, Kim and their extended family. I pray that Corey wins this election for your glory. Thank you again. I love you. Amen.

Why am I so weird?

Words I hate (in context):

au jus......As in, dip your roast beef sandwich in this au jus.
pit.........As in, arm pit.

Words I can't say correctly....or at least very fast:

abominable........"a bomb in a bull"
nuclear......."new clear"
aluminum......."a loon na mum"
specific......"spu sif ic"


Yes....I did grajeweighted college!

True Friendship

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers." 1 John 3:16

What would happen if all Christians truly lived this verse out each day? Imagine....

Project Impact Ponderings

Well, I just got finished with reading and documenting (in detail) the Project Impact Evaluations from this past summer. Wow. I learned a lot.

In 2000 I did the summer project at Glorieta much like Project Impact, and I remember how stinking honest I was on my evaluations. I cringe now at the words I chose to use back then. Needless to say, I was harsh and very critical. I can say my motives were good—I wanted to be honest to improve the program for the next year—not to complain just to get back at the leaders. I don't think, though, I thought about anyone but me and my experience. I didn’t stop and look at the big picture—that there were two sides of everything. My opinions were me-focused.

Well, I spent two months of my life again in a training program—this time as staff. One thing that has changed from my summer as a participant and my summer as a staff is my perspective.

Looking back, I see how easy it was for me to be critical. I was looking at other’s walks and what God called them to do and compared them to my role. The problem is that isn’t Biblical. If there was something that I didn’t like, it was easy to blame and complain.

I was (in 2000) called to be a participant and small group leader but not staff. So to compare myself back then to the staff and judge them was wrong. I lacked the whole "shoe on the other foot" mentality. I never considered that it was GOD they were using as their guide and decision-maker and not the emotions, opinions, and perspective of a bunch of college students.

Now as I read this year’s evaluation, my eyes are from a different perspective. I know how much I labored in details and preparation for this summer. I know how much I gave up for the students. I know God was involved in every decision we made. I also know the other staff and how they labored and sacrificed. I know BOTH sides of it—the participant and the staff side now.

So here I am with two opposing emotions. One is the understanding that I was critical of my summer and now only have happy memories (and to be patience and wait for this year’s participants to get there too). The other emotion is defeat and a desire to correct “wrongs.” PI is soooo important to me. I love summer projects, and much of the “success” of this summer is tied up in how I view my success. (I know it is ALL God, but I take it personally if people are not happy, you know?)

As I read the criticism, I see a lot of it is valid and useful. I wanted many of those things mentioned improved too. The other, however, just plain hurts. There is one evaluation in particular that really hurt me. I thought this guy had a great summer. I was so glad he came and thought he was glad too. But over and over in his evaluation, he was.....well pretty critical. It hurt because I did (and still do) cheer for his success and his place in our ministry, and I never realized the bitterness that was brewing in his heart. There were a couple like that. It is hard, you know, to not focus on those few bad ones. Over and over, I read how God did use me and the other staff in the lives of students. But Satan keeps reminding me of the handful of critics.

I guess I’m writing all of this to get it out....to voice that there was a human with emotions, struggles, imperfections, and a heart on the other side of the pen. All of this is a hope that someday these students will be in the same position we were in this summer....And that they will realize that we did give our best, we loved them, and that we took the risk and responsibilities of leading seriously.

Sermon Notes

Our pastor, Ronnie Rogers, said this during the sermon on Sunday:

"Without hope in the future, there is not work in the present."

How very true. How many limits do we put on our God. What does HE have to say about hope? Here are a few I like:

"Be strong and take heart, all of you who hope in the LORD." Psalm 31:24

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." Prov. 13:12

"Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will live in hope" Acts 2:26

"And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:5

"I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints," Eph. 1:18

"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, " 1 Peter 3:15