Whoa, man!!
I think my last post hit a nerve. I wasn’t trying to start an argument; it was something I had thought about that day. I have heard a lot of male feedback on what I wrote. My post was a way to encourage men to be men and show them what many women want…and so that we can fulfill our roles as women.
I look around at the commercials today. Almost every one depicts men as idiots and the women as the ones with intelligence, power, and control. Those commercials make me angry because they are subtlety sending messages to men that they ARE the weaker sex, that they AREN’T really in control. (I can site KFC, McDonald’s, Sprint, Swiffer Dusters, and more as examples.)
Over the past few decades our culture has slowly and methodically emasculated men. I think that is wrong—and I am cheering for those men willing to stand up against it. I want to be a woman who calls for and upholds men as men. God made you men—and I know it is hard to shoulder the burden of manliness especially in the face of contempt. I’m on your side!
God is the maker of distinctions….and when men and women accept the difference and enjoy it, they put color and design and variety into life. When they begin to deny it or feel that it should somehow be blurred, they take all the color out. The part each has to play in the harmony was determined as carefully as (infinitely more carefully than) the orchestration of a symphony. He did it with grace. His gifts to men and women are not “equal”...they are complementary. They contribute to the harmony or the design….a different set of gifts, which entails a different set of responsibilities and joys. (E Elliot’s words— but I agree.)
What I wrote in my previous blog was saying that women crave the strong, bold characterists and traits in men because we aren’t designed to be in that role. If I am doing the things men are called to do by God, I am stepping outside of the boundries. Stand true to your calling to be a man. Real women will always be relieved and grateful when men are willing to be men. That was all I was saying.
So what about women? Elizabeth Elliot’s sites these as, four extremely important events that illuminate where women stand in relation to men.
- She was made for the man. According to specifications she was divinely designed to fit his needs exactly—an adapter, a responder.
- She was made from the man, quite literally, constructed out of one of his own bones. He was her reason for being, her source, which is one of the root meanings of the New Testament word for “head.” If you miss the point in Genesis 2, you can pick it up in I Corinthians 11: “for man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.”
- She was brought to the man. God made a present of Eve to Adam, not Adam to Eve. She was his.
- She was named by the man. The Old Testament authority to name was of immense importance. It signified the acceptance of responsibility. He was taking charge. (So women taking her husband’s last name is this same symbol of the acceptance of responsibility.)
Femininity is bound up not only with her having been made for the man, but also in having been made from him. Her very existence depended on his having been there first! We need you to be men so we can be women.
I am not an expert. But I know it is hard to be a woman and wait, to respond. And it is hard to stand up and be an initiator. But He has built us this way and trusting God is doing the greatest thing anybody can do. Trusting God to take care of your love life (I know from experience) is a daily exercise of faith.
So when I am tempted to “settle” or listen to the lies from Satan that say “he might be you’re last chance, take it.” I have to remind myself of who God is. He is trustworthy. He wants to give me the best, even when I would settle for less.
In the core of my being, I want a man who will fight for me, to be the hero, to be the strong leader--to be the man. And I believe most of the women I know do too. I have to remind myself to look for that and not settlle for less than God's best. He is the one who will bring it together, and only HE knows the kind of husband I will need 40 years down the line.
Finally, I want to say that I am very lucky to be surrounded my men like I described in my last blog. It wasn't meant to start a fight, just to encourage men to be men.
